I was flipping through a Human Resources/Recruitment Powerpoint slide presentation last week and the “I’m trapped in a Dilbert cartoon” feeling really reached its highest point with the recommendation that a manager should also try “Radiating Positive Energy”.
Really, they write themselves those comics.
Anyway, some classics included these:
'Examples of Competencies
- Leadership
- Teamwork
- Motivation
- Brainpower'
Manager to other manager: What is your competency?
Other Manager: BrAInPoWER!!! BRAINPOWER!!!! URGH!!
Manager: How about Having An Extensive Vocabulary?
Other Manager: Nah. Just BRAINPOWER!!!!
Under the subject of ‘Interpersonal Skills’ was a sub-topic of ‘Building Relationships.’
- Become genuinely interested in other people
- Call people by their names
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interest
- Smile
- Listen
Did you know that “Emotional Intelligence accounts for up to 45% of one’s job success, while one’s IQ is said to account for less than 6%”?
Hmm, how about leaving me alone for the half a day each day that requires me to demonstrate Emotional Intelligence so that I only have to work 3 days a week?
3 comments:
49% Faking Sincerity
6% Competency
and
0.9% Maths Ability So I Trust Your Statistics About Immeasureable Values Why Again?
Call people by their names
As opposed to someone else's name WTF?
"So I Trust Your Statistics About Immeasureable Values Why Again?"
# Yes. How did they test for that value of 46% EQ? How do you measure it versus, say, not being a clueless douchebag? Does having a polite phone manner count as EQ or as basic common sense? etc etc
"As opposed to someone else's name WTF?"
# As opposed to "You", "New Guy" or "Sorry, I forgot your name for the millionth time"
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