Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Contact us at Sydney Water

Re: terms of address

I received a letter from you addressed to 'The Occupier'.
Normally such letters would be addressed to The Occupant.

Since I did not invade my flat by force of arms, I have not occupied it.

Should any insurgent activities arise at this address, I assure you that they are not a backlash against how I came to be here. There were no natives to alienate by my heavy-handed tactics, indescriminate and careless collateral damage, or by my failure to be mindful of cultural or religious sensibilities.

If you have information suggesting that others perceive me as a force of occupation, I shall immediately implement measures to reassure the local population.
Perhaps the traditional owners of my flat are a pastoral people and I haven't seen them yet because they are only here over the winter months.

I shall keep you updated as to the situation.

Please rest assured that I have been reading the works of Colonel David Kilcullen, so I will be able to protect locals from the invidious machinations of more extreme elements.

Sir Hairy Simspon KA


Liam said...

Are you in the Marrickville Council LGA? Perhaps Sydney Water is likely to implement a disinvestment and boycott scheme against you.
You naughty illegal settler, you. Back to your 1967 borders.

anti ob said...

True, but if you were truly an occupant then your trousers would have to have 8 legs. Not even your trousers are that mighty.

Fyodor said...

I see what you did there, Obmeister. And I approve.

I must say it's very presumptuous of Sydney Water to assume you're occupying anything. Isn't "resident" the usual term of address?

WV: "enyme"

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