Friday, September 28, 2007


I saw UK comedian Daniel Kitson at the Melbourne Comedy Festical this year.
It was standup with a story telling element to it.
He currently has a storytelling show called C-90 which has comedic elements in it in reverse proportion to his Easter show "That's the fireworks talking".
Seeing both shows was like a perfect yin-yang symbol of entertainment.

I saw C-90 on Wednesday night with Sparkly, but befofehand checked who was on Thursday comedy at the Friend in hand and Sam Bowring was MCing with Kent Valentine as the headliner. These were the guys who started the room and ran it for four years until recently. So, it was a must-see night.
On arrival last night I discovered that there was an extra special guest on after Kent.
It was Daniel Kitson.

No; fucking awesome!
It was very very very good. I was laughing so hard Kitson commented on my enthusiasm.

It was great to see Bowring utterly fail at the "What's your name? What do you do?" standard MC banter with the audience.
After flailing for a bit he said "I'm not any good at this at all!!" to much laughter.
It's avery friendly room and there is a lot of love.
Very good for the soul, but not so much for the liver.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Mad Driving Skillz Conclusion

From the editor:
"Even more amused to see the irony in you quoting Canadian songstress-moppets while recalling your comments the other day about LMH40K's "granny"-like driving skillz.

Now isn't THAT ironic?

Zhang etc."

I might as well start sleeping with twenty-year-olds and surrender all the highground and join Mattresshammer on the boggy flats.

At least their cavalry can't get us there.

... ooh.

I did my pre-learner safety training for motorbikes three weeks back.
I wonder if any dealers do a "Buy one secondhand 250cc bike and get 20% off a car!" deals?

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Mad Driving Skills Part 2

Matt's dad has a little two-seater hatchback Subaru...
Matt's dad had a little two-seater hatchback Subaru...

It turns out that rotating a car 180 degrees in a horizontal plane and 180 degrees in a vertical one is an automatic negligent driving charge.
Who'd have known?

The police officer - or officer attending - was (a) hot, and (b) impressed by how sanguine I was.

"It's not mine," I said, explaining it all.

She took my details and I suggested that since she now had my number that if she was feeling a little down that she should call me around and I would turn that frown - like the car - upside down.

She smiled and we made love for hours, during which time I turned her upside down a few times.

So, that's why I was late for work.

Q: But why, Harry, did you borrow the car in the first place?
A: I was visiting my Aunt at Newport Beach and last time I caught the L-88 bus from Central which took two hours and cost $5.60, so I borrowed the car to save time and money.

Q: But why, specifically, were you visiting your aunt?
A: Because we were planning our two week driving holiday to Victoria and back.
In her car.

And THAT, Alanis Morriset, is ironic.

Don't you think?

And, naturally I had to catch the bus back to Sydney.
the L-88.
For $5.60 plus a new car.

A little too ironic?

Yes, I really do think.

(So, after a dude asked if I was okay as I crawled out the window, and another couple stopped a bit later, I started calling people who could find a tow truck for me.
I got through to Lady Awesome who asked where I had crashed. I told her and she said she'd just heard it announced on the radio.
See! I told you guys I'd be on the radio some day!)

Mad Driving Skillz Part 1

Dear Mike [father of LordMattressHammer],

I am buying you a new car.


I wrote off your old one.

I am very sorry, but at 4:05pm today I ended up upside down just off the Wakehurst Parkway.

It is (and I think you'll agree with me) ....hilarious.

I texted Matt [LordMattressHammer] who replied by asking what the fluffy dice rolled.
I said a seven.
He claimed that he was now routed and had left the table.

At this point he thought I was joking, but this evening at 10:30pm with four Oporto burgers in hand he sobered up instantly.

I was completely uninjured, and retract my horrible slur against your car when I told my Aunt that it was "waffer theen".



PS Your brakes grab a little to the left. You might want to get that checked out.

PPS Matt jokingly suggested I give him a lift tomorrow to his meeting in Lidcombe.
He mimed typing "Dear Heather [mother of LordMattressHammer], You'll never guess what happened..."