Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Mad Driving Skills Part 2

Matt's dad has a little two-seater hatchback Subaru...
Matt's dad had a little two-seater hatchback Subaru...

It turns out that rotating a car 180 degrees in a horizontal plane and 180 degrees in a vertical one is an automatic negligent driving charge.
Who'd have known?

The police officer - or officer attending - was (a) hot, and (b) impressed by how sanguine I was.

"It's not mine," I said, explaining it all.

She took my details and I suggested that since she now had my number that if she was feeling a little down that she should call me around and I would turn that frown - like the car - upside down.

She smiled and we made love for hours, during which time I turned her upside down a few times.

So, that's why I was late for work.

Q: But why, Harry, did you borrow the car in the first place?
A: I was visiting my Aunt at Newport Beach and last time I caught the L-88 bus from Central which took two hours and cost $5.60, so I borrowed the car to save time and money.

Q: But why, specifically, were you visiting your aunt?
A: Because we were planning our two week driving holiday to Victoria and back.
In her car.

And THAT, Alanis Morriset, is ironic.

Don't you think?

And, naturally I had to catch the bus back to Sydney.
the L-88.
For $5.60 plus a new car.

A little too ironic?

Yes, I really do think.

(So, after a dude asked if I was okay as I crawled out the window, and another couple stopped a bit later, I started calling people who could find a tow truck for me.
I got through to Lady Awesome who asked where I had crashed. I told her and she said she'd just heard it announced on the radio.
See! I told you guys I'd be on the radio some day!)


worldpeace and a speedboat said...

And THAT, Alanis Morriset, is ironic.

lol! I have to reborrow that, I didn't get to watch much of it. still think Bill Bailey is the best live. I still want to make the beeb pips into a three-hour loop and have a rave in my loungeroom :)

well, as they say, it's funny because you didn't end up a mangled piece of towering manflesh. or something. what is it that you call yourself?

harry said...

WPandaSB is refering to the standup DVD of Ed Byrne whose encore is about Alanis Morriset releasing an accoustic version of Jagged Little Pill because it was ten years since the original release of Jagged Little Pill.
"Sounds like money for old rope to me. Well, if she's going to make money rehashing old material, then I sure as hell am too..." Or words to that effect.

The "beep pips" are form Bill Bailey doing an "apocalyptic rave" version of the BBC news theme.

I am a towering monument of hetero manflesh.

thank you.