Argy. BA to Colon

Caught a very new coach today: complete with plasma screens, radiojacks and complete leg-rests, for the four hour trip north to Colon. The driver stopped once we were well out of the city. I was happily surprised to see snacks including ham and cheese sandwiches. (Later I was to be unhappily surprised to see these sandwiches again so soon.) All this for 70pesos return! ($25approx.)
I ate the jamon y queso tortes and felt a bit queasy. Note intrepid bilingual pun.

We were going to Colon so that we could visit the National Park of Palms - 40ks north. We were hoping to do hours of walking in the park, but (transport options being limited) it looked like the best we could do was 2hours in there with a guide-driver for 40pesos each. There was a pre-dawn starting option that porported to be good for animal viewing. I was sceptical. Two hours after all...
We were both a bit deflated by this and that Colon was not the beautiful colonial town we´d expected. So we retired to a cafe to order food and drink. With the help of another patron we discovered that the chef wasn´t in for another 40minutes, thus there was no food. Then that saint of a woman again rescued us and the waiter (who seemed afraid of us and our no hablo espanol ways) to say that the beer we´d ordered ¨is hot".
Maho joked that this was going to be another beetroot incident.

Aside: In Spanish"it" can be added to some words as a diminuitive. Thus señorita is a little or young señora. Un momento is a moment, but un momentito is a small moment: equivalent to "I´ll be with you shortly" and "I´ll be with you right away." Further more "it" can be used as an indicator of affection: "Dear Tida" could become "Tidita."

So I suggested to Maho that if ever she had the chance to name a cocktail she should call it a Mahito.
I mused what would be in it.
Maho instantly replied "Rum, lime, mint, sugar... and beetroot."

Then you´ll never guess what happened!
My arse exploded!!
Perhaps it was just too tempting of Fate to visit a town called Colon.
Imodium be my friend.
That´s one pair of undies that won´t be coming home.

For you, I told them, the war is over.