Monday, August 20, 2007

Adventurerering with Women (attempted)

I'd like to take this moment to highlight the importance of remembering the Harry "DYRF" Imperative when asking a girl out.
DYRF?
Do
Your
Research
First




A good strong start that shoots straight from the hip or nearby groinal region. And, by being in note form, shows that I am too cowardly to speak to her directly ie sensitive.


You see the problem here?

Look, I had heard some talk around work about D, but it's a gay bar and they don't really pay attention to that sort of thing around here, so I didn't place much credence in the intellegnce gathered in such a way.
I suppose I could have found out the pertinent information by myself. After all, I have worked with her for over a year and we have had several conversations in that time.
We've talked about how I'm cool because I've met Joss Whedon.
We've talked about how my taste in music is superior to hers, and also about how impressive and strong I am because I can lift the full gravy pot off the stove whilst she can't.
Her marital state just hasn't come up before is what I'm trying to say.

So, people, learn from my error here.

I work at a gay bar in Redfern called Mr Mary's.
One of the other barman asked why it was so called.
I didn't know, but suggested that since our first birthday was on Bastille Day and Mary Antionette featured prominently on the posters that perhaps the gay community or drag queens identified strongly with Mary Antionette, and thence the name.
He looked unconvinced, and I don't blame him - but it was the best I could come up with.
I tried again.
"Mary Antionette is known for one thing in particular: saying 'Let them eat cake' when told that the populace didn't have any bread to eat.
Maybe they thought she said 'Let them eat cock'?"

Funnily enough neither Cock o'man nor Penis Schnitznel are on the menu.


And neither am I, so back off.


I remain a towering man-meat monument of heterosexuality.

3 comments:

Fyodor said...

"Funnily enough neither Cock o'man nor Penis Snitznel are not on the menu.

And neither am I, so back off."

Neither of them are NOT on the menu...and neither are you NOT on the menu?

What is this, the Gaybar at the Not-the-End of the Universe?

P.S. Man sagt "Schnitzel", Feldwebel Manfleisch.

Lady Awesome said...

ha ha
You did try to write that sentence a number of times and still got it wrong. Multitasking is truely a challenge for you....
...or maybe it was the sara sandwich.... hmmm

harry said...

"...or maybe it was the sara sandwich.... hmmm "

IN YOUR FACE, Fyodor (editor)!