Why am I crying?
Because of the reply to this email I sent LMH:
I did the Persian decision making process but with a twist
c) with diaorreah
Alexander would have been proud.
Lord Mattress Hammer replies:
(scene)Harry, sitting on gold toilet, surrounded by dusky maidens. His loyal Generals relax nearby on cushions.(/scene)
Harry - Well, I think I have a plan.
Ptolemy - Yes, oh great King.
Seleucus - Tell us, General.
Matt - While you're thinking, here's the wine dude.
H - (explosive farting noise) I think we should go home.
Matt - Sounds sensible to me.
P - But King, we have almost conquered India.
S - And the Persians are still in open rebellion.
H - No, I've pondered this long and hard. (plopping noises)
P - Our armies trample all in their path!
S - The treasures of the world are in our grasp!
H - (finishes sculling wine bottle, stares blearily into the distance, explosive wind eruption) No. Fuck that. Even when I'm pissed it seems like a good idea.
M - (nods sagely, hands Harry large key)
H - What's this?
M - The key to the library. You're going to need it. Don't worry, I'll just tell everyone you burnt it down.
H - (strange sound - like a chainsaw starting underwater) Thanks dude.